Separation Anxiety: A closer look at what's below the surface

by Joyce Leake (reprinted from Dog Days of Denver with permission)

The holidays were fast approaching and Sarah was thinking about all she wanted to do to celebrate. She'd already received several invitations to parties and was toying with the idea of throwing one of her own.

The persistent licking on her hand brings Sarah back to the moment. As she pets her "best friend", Fido, she realizes that attending any party is going to be hard and throwing one- well, that's out of the question.

You see, Fido doesn't like Sarah to be gone. She rushes home from work each day, and to assuage her guilt, takes Fido with her everywhere she can- or she doesn't go out at all. And having a guest- much less a crowd- at her home is way too distressing for him.

She absent-mindedly scratches Fido behind his ears and loudly sighs. She's mentally just cancelled her party and is about to decline all her invitations.

This scenario is one that's all too familiar for some dog owners. And it happens with the best of intentions. They want to integrate their dog as part of the family unit. But without boundaries, the family unit can be easily turned into a dictatorship- with the dog carrying the heavy artillery.

Sarah needs to get her life back and establish herself as the person in charge! But changing anyone's behavior- hers or Fido's- is not going to happen overnight. This will take an attitude adjustment, and retraining for them both. Here are some things Sarah (and you- if the paw fits) should consider, if she wants to reclaim her life.

On some level, does Fido's neediness, jealousy and protectiveness feed into Sarah's feelings of self worth? If this is her only way of feeling needed, Sarah may not want to change the behavior- even though it means cutting herself off from her human friends (who at some point will give up on her joining them, for social events).

Just as with children, the pet needs the responsible party to be in charge. Otherwise, chaos rules the day.

Sarah should consider working with a qualified trainer, who can help turn the situation around much faster.

If you can relate to any of this- either a little or a lot- make a New Year's resolution to take charge of the situation, and start making positive changes. Your relationship with your dog will improve into a healthy one- and both of you will be the winners.

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