The Confidant Approach. Stepping Up to the Head of the Herd

by Joyce Leake

Many riders "take lessons" to improve their riding skills. But within seconds, if they are open to a blatant subliminal message, they may learn that the lesson is more about them, rather than how eloquently they sit the walk, trot and canter.

Whether you present yourself with confidence and authority, or are shakin' in your riding boots, your horse will immediately know whether your presentation is true or false. Believe it or not, your level of self-confidence and self-assurance will affect your horse's confidence just as it affects yours! A warm tone of voice, a poised carriage, a calm approach that exudes assurance. will gain you the trust and confidence of your horse. I am not talking about pompous self-confidence, or self-centeredness, but about "centeredness", about acting from a centered place.

False confidence is no more useful than none at all. If you pretend self-confidence to attain your goals with your horse, they will see right through it. Maybe that's really where it is, in the eye of the horse. This natural being, so in-tuned with the sensitivities of his environment, is seldom fooled by our attempts to "fake it". This four-legged, natural soul has more savvy and sensibilities than us two-legged variety can even hope for. Instinct always wins.

We all too often rely on perfecting our walk, trot and canter transitions, and fool ourselves into thinking that a balanced seat equates with a confident rider. Yes, these are components that lead to a more confident "ride", however, one part of the lesson that is often overlooked is the "presence" we present to our horses. It's here that the rider all too often takes a tumble into the trap of "fake it till you make it". Remember the quote "you can't fool Mother Nature"? Well that equine IS Mother Nature, in a very real way. If you want authority, "make-believe" just won't cut it with an equine. So, how can you gain true confidence?

Imagine the history here. a horse is a herd animal, and the leader of that herd gained and wielded authority over the others by being a forceful presence. which was necessary for the protection and survival of the herd. Now, in the case of a domesticated animal, the only reason for force is a lack of time, an emergency. and even then, inciting conscious cooperation is a much more effective tool! It is the iffy "should I or shouldn't I." or "Oh, I can't do this!" that puts your horse on guard. if you question your own capabilities, your instinctual animal will certainly read that, and respond by trying to lead YOU! Likewise, the horse will believe you are the leader, as long as you lead with confidence.

I have often heard the theory that the best instructor is the one who can "change the channel" the fastest. in other words, introduce a new subject, or offer an alternative activity, without wrestling the first away in a "match of wills".

If you want to change undesirable behavior, or improve temperament, you must.

a) NOT display that behavior yourself. it is hard to gain calm by yelling! Communicate in simple, consistent terms.
b) Be confident about your request, and follow through. No waffling.
c) Be appreciative. Applaud your horse's efforts, with honest praise.
d) Be satisfied, and know that achieving your goals begins with consistent, little steps.

I just attended a clinic where, at first, all of the attendees felt nervous, awkward, and insecure, while "moving" to please the instructor. In our attempts to "perform correctly", that sense of insecurity negated any self-confidence we had. Our horses were responding very clearly to our discomfort. The results were stiff, uncoordinated, and mechanical.

As the day progressed, we relaxed, and the results were clearly improved. We were "getting it", and our horses were, too. The instructor pointed out how our "presence" with the horses was so visible, and did we see it too? We all answered "yes"! Then. one lone voice echoed through the arena, "Well, it's time for me to take a break. My poor horse is tired of me flailing around. My timing is off, and I won't get it back." This person went on to say that she was too old, too big, out of shape, and floppy on her equine. She went on.

We had witnessed how our horses reacted to our actions, graduating from tentative and unsure to more confident and self-assured. It proved a great lesson for all of us, to "see" how confidence ebbs and flows with what we say and how we act with our horses. If we, as less sensate beings, can pick that up, just think how our very in-tune, sensate horses cringe at having an unsure partner.

Your "presence" with your horse can always be refined, this is just a start, a drop in the bucket, but acting with confidence and consistency is key in building a foundation of willingness and cooperation. So, take the lead. There is always so much more to learn.

-